See yesterday’s post for a brief explanation of today’s
post.
Seller says = Actual meaning
Highly desirable model = it’s not as irritating as measles
Rare = I've been to every storage unit auction in the
tri-county area and I've never seen one of these
This piano just needs a good home = it needs to be somewhere
other than this house
Very well cared for = we've never set it on fire and we
cleaned most of the rat droppings out of it
Reconditioned = it was broke, but we kind of fixed it
Refurbished = it was broke, but we paid some guy to kind of
fix it
Restored = it was broke, but we paid some guy to cobble
together some piano parts and make it look like it was fixed
All original = we were too lazy to recondition, refurbish,
or restore it
 |
| Ivory |
Real ivory keys = I wouldn't know ivory if I got stabbed by
an elephant tusk
Original ivory keys = you can see the wood on some of the
keys because the plastic stuff peeled off
 |
| Not ivory (although, these have broken off in the fashion of real ivory, so, maybe...) |
The piano plays perfect = some of the keys move and when
they do, there’s noise
Comes with a bench = we've got to get rid of that hunk a
junk, too
Inspected by an expert and appraised for (some ridiculous number) = Uncle Bernie
saw something resembling a piano on the Internet once selling for (some ridiculous number)
Sacrifice for (some equally ridiculous number) = I need (some equally ridiculous number) to buy a new ATV and some socks
Serious inquiries only = Okay, I'll take $5000 less than (some equally ridiculous number)
Like I said yesterday, it took me a long time to figure out
a lot of this jargon, and that’s why I still don’t own an acoustic piano. (End
part four)
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