Top 10 (Plus Bonus) Christmas Songs for a Recession

10) O, Bernanke (O, Bernanke, when will you print more money?)

9) I'm Gettin' Nuttin' For Christmas (not even a 'g' to spell right)

8) Chestnuts Roasting on an Open Fire (actually, pecans from the neighbor's lawn over a cardboard box fire in a 55-gallon drum in the Wal-Mart parking lot)

7) Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer (what else could go wrong?)

6) Have Yourself a 401(K) Implosion

5) I'll Be Home for Christmas ('cause I can't afford to go anywhere else, or, 'cause mom and dad are there and I can stay as long as I want, rent free)

BONUS) There's No Place Like Home For the Holidays (same reasons as #5)

4) Dodge the Malls (and Eat at Denny's)

3) Good King Wenceslaus (no, I really like that one)

2) All I Want for Christmas is a Bailout Package

1) Do You Fear What I Fear? (fill in with your favorite economic phobia)