Why I still don’t own an acoustic piano, Part five

I have a robot that does the vacuuming for me and Mrs. S. His name is Vinnie. (He does the “dirty work”.) He’s manufactured by iRobot Corporation. He’s programmable. He rarely gets stuck, always covers every nook and cranny, and he works every day, if we want him to, without complaining. We bought Vinnie not because we are lazy. We bought Vinnie because we hate to vacuum.

One of Vinnie's brothers. He comes from a very large family.

Vacuuming is one of the few activities that I hate more than looking for a piano.

Looking for an acoustic piano is hard. You have to wade through the lies and half-truths of the people who are selling used pianos. You have to cast your net very wide just to find a piano you are interested in. You have to deal with Craigslist not forwarding your emails even though there’s no other contact information in the ad. If you do manage to actually talk to a piano owner, they don’t understand what is meant by “buyer’s market”. Sellers also expect you to fix their piano after you buy it. And pianos are expensive.

Before Vinnie, we used to wait to vacuum until the house was basically covered in cat hair. One more day of not vacuuming meant one more day you didn't have to vacuum before you died. The longer you stretched, the less vacuuming you had to do. But eventually, you couldn't stretch anymore and you got out the Dyson and you cleaned house.

Without an acoustic piano, I play a digital piano, a piano that I bought for $700 five years ago because I wasn't sure I wanted to play the piano and I didn't want to spend a lot of money for something I might be selling on Craigslist in a few months. Now, five years later, I’m stretching. I’m trying not to notice that I can’t play quick repeated notes on tunes like “Moment’s Notice” or “Falling in Love with Love”. I try to ignore the clunkity-clunk-clunk-clatter of the keys underneath the plastic housing drowning out the music when I play Gymnopedie 1ere. Then I realize the house is covered in cat hair, and  I can’t stretch anymore, and I go back to looking for an acoustic piano.

But it’s hard, and that’s why I still don’t own an acoustic piano. (End part five)